Aries - Taurus - Gemini - Cancer - Leo - Virgo - Libra - Scorpio - Sagittarius - Capricorn - Aquarius - Pisces
MYSTIC JOURNEY HOROSCOPES
February 2012
By Brad Kronen
2012 Valentine Horoscopes
Hello Love Fools!
On the Battlefield which Love is A, did you know Venus is not the supreme officer d'amour? The planet named after the goddess of Love actually reports to a superior where anything Lovealicious is concerned. In astrology, the Commander and Chief of that powerful force otherwise known as L-O-V-E is a heavenly body which outranks Venus since it is categorized as her "higher octave" -
NEPTUNE
Allow me to sexily explain......
Venus is the hands-on experience of Love. She is behind whatever skirt or shirt (real time, not blow up kind) you are currently in love/in lust with. Venus deals with any kind of amorous groove that is in the immediate here and now.
Venus' higher octave, Neptune, takes the "du Jour" out of "L'amour" by power lifting Love wayyyy up on an idealized platform. Romantically, Neptune deals with those beings who are your ultimate fantasy or whom you should ultimately end up with, should your inner you end up being the best it can be. But Romance is merely one aspect to Neptune's powerful Love pull. The 2nd furthest planet in our Solar System deals with Love in all of its cosmically spiritual glory!
Venus = Love
Neptune = LOVE
2012 is a momentous year since Neptune will be entering the sign that it rules naturally, Pisces, come this February 4th, and will be swimming in the sign that easily gets wet for the next 14 years!
What does that mean for all you love starved animals?
If Venus is being in love, Neptune is BIG LOVE. Beginning February 4th and the 14 years following, with Neptune's passage through the sign of its rulership, Pisces, a rare window of astrological opportunity shall open, allowing us all a chance to tap directly into that powerful force of Cosmic Big Love which is both Unconditional and Universal. That strongest of all energies which not only binds us to each other as The Brotherhood of Man (and Woman) but also connects we humans to every living being within this galaxy and throughout all the Universe.
Valentine's Day of 2012, (aka February 14th) is a special date on the cosmic calendar where tradition has it, each of us can affirm the presence of Love in our lives. This upcoming Day D'amour is also a marker for our souls to begin formulating their highest cosmic aspirations and best optimal goals so that over these next 14 years, as the supreme commander of Cosmic Love glides through the waters of its natural rulership, the force of Big Love has the potential to enfold each of us into the ocean of well being and the sea of spiritual connectedness whose waters flow through The Universe at large.
Each sign's horoscope will map out where Brad thinks you should be looking for “Love” (Venus' placement in the heavens on February 14th), and as a final glop of icing on your sign's erotic cake, Brad will also be your Love Traffic Controller by pointing your sign towards its own specialized version of “Big Love” as well (Neptune's positioning in the Heavens for each sign over the next decade and a half).
All 12 scopes will conclude by addressing each sign when they are "in love" - Venus' positioning for this upcoming Valentine's Day, as well as when each sign is in "BIG LOVE" - Neptune's positioning in Pisces for the next 14 years.
HAPPY VD, LOVE FOOLS!
If you need inspiration, I direct your view to be scrolled back up to the top of this intro. It's a close up shot of a wall mural inside one of Brad's favorite buildings, The Secessionist Building in Vienna. The mural is called "The Beethoven Frieze" by the great Secessionist artist, Gustav Klimt. It commemorates the last movement of Beethoven's 9th Symphony when the chorus sings "Diesen Kuss der Ganzen Welt!" "We give this Kiss to the entire World!". Klimt captured this idealized kiss which Brad takes a step further, describing the image as “Big Love Sucking Face”.
March 20th – April 19th
“A Valentine’s Day awaits which is very non-Ram like, but rammed full with Romantic potential just the same, Aries.”
Back in the 70's, Aries, there were commercials where your typical, white average American male would be busying himself around the house, chipper and upbeat, but would then fly into a rage over some trivial nothing such as there being no milk left in the fridge. While the man seethed in his milk-less state of bitter resentment, the camera would proceed to pan over to his observing in the background wife, who would then simply turn to the camera and state to no one in particular,
“Bob just hasn't been himself lately.”
Let's play a little game, Aries. Replace the word “Bob” with your sign and the word “lately” with the words “over the last year and a half”.I'm betting all my trillions not a single child of Mars ever heard the following words of advice, “Just be yourself.” When considering your sign rules naturally over the House of Self, it's nearly impossible to envision those born under the sign of The Ram living any other way besides being their directly straightforward, uncomplicated, in the moment, selves.
That is, until recently....
The signs housed under the element of Fire are action oriented. In other words, the fire signs function best when they are busy, or in the act of “doing” things. But during practically the entire calendar year of 2010 and for the last 3 months of 2011, either most or all of the fire oriented planets, namely Jupiter and your planetary ruler, Mars, were in retrograde, or backwards motion. This translated to most of the members of The Family of Flame, but most especially you horn headed ones, being less than motivated to go into action and for quite some extended time, not necessarily wanting to “do” anything. Said another way:
The Aries just hasn't been him or herself lately.
As The Day D'amour approaches, I won't even say there's Good News & Bad News, Aries, more like “Good Ram News” & “Status Quo Ram News”. Butting heads with the non-fabulous tidings first, your planetary ruler, the planet of action and bed creaking, Mars, is yet again in retrograde, or backwards motion, beginning on January 24th and shall remain in its reversed trek of unmotivation until the 14th.....of April. I won't pretend to be coating that last statement in the finest of mohair sheep's wool, those born under the sign of the Ram have to face yet another chunk o' time where they just aren't their usual spitfire, spontaneous selves.
BUTT....
Even though your pilot lights are still sputtering at the lowest of flickers these days, This Valentine's Day may be quite memorable for you children of Mars, and NOT because it will be newly christened as “The Year of the Dumped Ram” or “The Year of the Lone Wolfed Sheep” or for 2012 being remembered as that time period associated with the squelched Love Life of The Ram - “Out with the old, In with the Old Aries Maid”.
Retrograde periods are a sure fire way for the Universe to have you fire signs not be so frantically action oriented. When motivational energies throughout our world go retro, we are asked to be of a more open, relaxed, calm, in a non-Ram charged manner.
Allow me to translate that in Arien:SIT STILL FOR 2.5 FREAKING SECONDS & SHUT UP, ARIES!
But never fear, my crybabies of the Zodiac, remember me mentioning back, way, WAY back, those 3 words which at this point must sound so distantly foreign, “Good.....Ram.....News?”
This Valentine's Day, Aries' planetary Daddy may have ditched the sign he rules over, but the Big Momma of Love, Venus herself, will be shining in the sign of the Ram on Love's Big Day!
For those Aries already rammed into relationships, use this down and quiet time to actually ponder, remember and appreciate your partnered paramours, as opposed to a more typical Valentine's when the Aries forgot about The Day of Love altogether, as well as having it slip their self concerned minds to give their significant other some much deserved or long overdue thanks and praise.
For those Aries still looking for Ram Love in all the wrong mountain ledges and find themselves scaling solo when The Day of Love comes charging in, take the Mars down time to look back at your past. Look at past Ram relationships and ask your horn headed selves why did those unions end? What would you have done differently? Have your relationships up until now fit a pattern that seems to be repeating? Also look in a mirror my single Rams, and while no one is watching, and hopefully not within a 10 mile earshot range, state out loud what you like about yourselves! Even I promise not to peek, but look right at your mirror image and do your best Stuart Smalley, whom I know in my core could not have possibly been born under your sign. State which negative dynamics you hope not to repeat in future relationships, and that Gosh darn! Ewe like yourselves!
If, during this very atypical, not your Ram self time, the single Aries actually does the inner Love Voo Doo that I tell them to do, they'll have a veritable stampede of potential partners come charging at them all at once.
If hitched and single Aries alike want to Ram charge into their specialized outlet of Big Love, Neptune will be traversing Aries' House of Charity for the next 14 years. Any kind of self-less volunteer or charity work will greatly aid the Aries in leaping out of a world view that is purely self concerned while The Universe will simultaneously confirm to those Aries who actively perform works of self-less charity that No Ram Is An Island!
The Aries in love loves themself. The Aries in Big Love acts from a love which is self-less.
April 20th – May 20th
“Dare you Bulls share the bovine wealth which Jupiter has been bestowing on the herd of you as of late, Taurus?”
I’m just going to come right out and say it, Taurus. It’s a widely held myth spread by the romantically repressed that Valentine’s Day was created by the greeting card, floral, and substandard chocolate industries in order for there to be a guarantee of cash flow in the months directly following the high sales of the Christmas rush. Well I can no longer live with this romantic charade one extra throbbing heartbeat more! It’s time the truth finally be told, my Bulls.
For the most part, Valentine’s Day was created by The Universe for The Sign of The Bovine, cross my cow heart!Being ruled by Lady Love herself, Venus, your sign comes fresh off the astrological assembly line with a pre-built sense of romance. When the Venus ruled person is romantically interested in someone, they still utilize an ancient ritualistic tool of romance which most people have never even heard of these days, and those who have assumed this tool had gone the way of the Dodo – the act of courting. However, it shouldn’t cow prod shock any of you Bulls to hear that today’s 21st century world is anything BUT romantic. Say the word “courting” these days and most people either think you’re talking about the latest basketball stats or who you plan on actively suing. Besides having a built in sense of Romance, another inherent Taurean trait is the ability to derive security from the tangible, namely one’s possessions, things, money, etc. Every Bull should have noticed their sense of tangible security get amped up quite considerably over the last 6 or so months, since the largest planet in our Solar System which rules over blessings and benefits, aka Jupiter, has been traversing through the sign of the bovine since last June and will continue to graze pasture in the sign of the Cosmic Cow until June of 2012. Overall, Jupiter’s Taurean trek translates to more stuff and moo-lah for the Bull during the last 6 months and into the next ½ dozen of the current calendar. This Valentine’s Day, your planetary ruler, the Grand Empress of Romance herself, Venus, will be shining in the Taurus’ House of Charity. Now, let’s go over some of the aforementioned Taurean traits but in a specific Valentine’s Day kind of way, shall we? Bully!
- Since your sense of romance is the most developed you’ll find anywhere in the Zodiac, Romance is something the Taurus is already quite well versed in and frankly… shouldn’t expect too much to be reciprocated from most romantically impaired outside parties these days. How about transferring that Taurean sense of romantic love to that special variety of the L word which is charitable to others – unconditional.
- Considering the Taurean attachment to all things tangible, I’ll refrain from asking you Bulls to picture yourselves in their place, but try to empathize with the numerous victims of the devastating dilemmas which have occurred globally and locally as of late. Those unfortunate ones who were directly in the path of deadly earthquakes, tsunamis, tornadoes, and floods and were left with absolutely nothing left but the clothes on their backs.
Whether you stretch a few years back or in very recent memory and whether you look around the globe or just around the corner, the devastation from Mother Earth at her very worst still lingers. Two years have passed since Haiti’s capital, Port au Prince, was decimated by the deadliest earthquake ever recorded there on January 12, 2010, and still there are 500,000 Haitian quake victims currently living in squalid makeshift tents and plyboard shelters. Looking merely back to last year, the recovery process is still very much in active duty on the other side of the globe for the Japanese victims of the Sendai earthquake and tsunami which rocked the Earth off its axis on March 11th. Hitting much closer to home, 2011 saw the number of tornado related deaths in the United States nearly match the number of tornado fatalities over the last 10 years combined! Most of the town of Joplin, Missouri was obliterated by an EF5 multiple vortex tornado on May 22nd, leaving millions of dollars of property damage, including the regional medical center destroyed. Last autumn, Hurricane Irene swept up the U.S. East Coast leaving immense flood damage which has yet to be addressed or repaired in numerous towns throughout the American North East. After all that devastating talk, how about shaking things up this Valentine’s, Taurus?
Prevent any kind of romantic rut from taking place this year along with giving the Universe a unique token of Taurean thanks for your amassed Jupiterian blessings as of late by planning/hosting a 2012 Valentine’s charity event. The moneys earned can go to the relief efforts still very much at work for the victims and survivors of any of the disasters listed above.
Putting together a Valentine’s event which gives thanks for Jupiter’s recently bestowed bovine blessings which also focuses on the unconditional charitable love for one’s fellow Man, Woman, and Child is the perfect first step for each Taurus to mooooooooove towards their particular outlet of Big Love, as Neptune will be placidly sailing through The Bull’s House of Friendship and Future-oriented Legacies over the next decade and a half.
The Taurus in love has their sense of romance transcend to a spiritual realm. The Taurus in Big Love has their spirit transcend the material realm by becoming a true friend to all the world.
Donations to the Joplin Recovery Fund or other community funds may be made to Community Foundation of the Ozarks, P.O. Box 8960, Springfield, MO 65801, or online at www.cfozarks.org/donate.
Donations for the continuing efforts of the Red Cross in Haiti can be made online at www.redcross.org/Haiti.
Donations for Hurricane Irene recovery can be made online at www.disasterfunding.org.
Donations to the Salvation Army’s continuing relief efforts in Japan for tsunami victims may be made online at www.donate.salvationarmyusa.org or by calling 1-800-SAL-ARMY and texting the words “Japan” or “Quake” to 80888 to make a $10 donation. (Please ensure that you respond “YES” to the Thank You message you receive or else your donation will not go through.)
May 21st – June 20th
“The Lovers - Tarot’s version of the Fric and Frac of The Zodiac, aka you, Gemini”
Did you know that in the divinatory art of The Tarot, there is a card which represents the essence of each of the 12 signs of the Zodiac, my Twins? Dare you make a double take and guess which is yours?
Take your twin-ish time, I’ll wait.
(Hint: Scroll directly up about 7 or so lines.)
That’s right! The Lovers. Most assume that most glorious of Tarot cards is reserved for those signs whom Venus rules over, but in romantic reality, The Lovers represents the essence of Gemini. The reasoning behind The Twins’ association with one of the most celebrated cards of The Tarot is quite apropos for you communicative ones, especially so for this upcoming Valentine’s Day. Before quenching the now fully torched mental curiosity burning within your Mercurial minds, let’s set the sibling’d scene for Love’s Big Day from a planetary perspective.
The planetary Empress of Romance, Venus, will be stationed in Gemini’s House of Friendship this upcoming Valentine’s Day. You may be the most sociable of signs, my Twins, but the pool of true love applicants from which you can choose from are few and far between. Why, you may be asking in stereo? Let’s change mutable sign’d gears and once again return to The Lovers card.
The Man and Woman beneath the blessing hands of the benefic Angel are not only romantic partners, they are equals in every way, right down to their identical height and bookended counterbalanced positioning of each other. The Tarot card is a symbol of Gemini’s essence based on the supposition that for every person born under the first of the air signs, their ideal “mate”, be it romantic, soul, or however else you want to bindingly call it, is somewhere out there in the world. When a Gemini ventures out into society and does indeed find this ideal archetypal mate, it is as if they have found their soul’s long lost twin and are at last finally reunited through the bond of love both as Lovers and through their souls' union as if they were Cosmic Family.
The astrological message behind the symbolism of The Lovers Tarot card in regards to each one of you Chatty Chads and Kathys finding a cosmicly suitable romantic partner should be as clear cut as the Yin and Yang – The best mate for a Gemini should be in nearly every way an equal, and to follow your sign’s symbol, should match each power talker of the Zodiac to a T, just like a set of matching cosmic bookends. This person must produce amorous feelings that whenever the Gemini sees them, takes their air signed breath away but must also be someone the person born under the sign of The Twins can confide in, horse around with, and have fun with just like the bestest of BFF’s. A sense of comradery so strong, a passionate evening for the Gemini and their cosmicly equal love partner is comprised of an equal amount of sexually and mentally stimulated bed creaking as well as giggling and all out LOL’s (assuming you are the sign most savvy to any and all social media, explanation of the just mentioned abbreviation is completely unnecessary).
Returning once more to this upcoming Day D’amour….
With Venus shining in the Gemini’s House of Friendship, it’s highly love recommended every Motor Mouth of the Zodiac be with their posse this Valentine’s Day. This applies to both the single and hitched varieties of the Gemini. You partnered Twins will truly shine to your significant other if you partake in the Day of Romance’s activities as one big gregarious group of friends and lovers. How can your paramour NOT resist your Gemini charms when they are displayed so naturally by being your conversationally effervescent, fast witted selves in the presence of your motley crew of bosom buds? As for you untaken airy ones, if you paint the town heart colored red with your gaggle of guys and girls this 14th of February, your lightning fast, Mercurial minds may take another double take at one of your long standing chums in a whole new, different, romantic light OR while chatting up the world at large on your Valentine’d night on the town with your multi-feathered flock, you may just be introduced by one of your well established amigos to your finally found Cosmic Twin, who could very well dualisticly be both your soul’s long sought after missing mate as well as the Gemini’s newly discovered best buddy of romance.
Dualisticly, the free and lightning fast manner of speech amongst friends is what needs to be actively altered in regards to the outlet of Big Love for both hitched and non-taken Twin alike. Neptune will be traversing the Gemini’s House of Career and Status for the next 14 years beginning February 4th. The sign who requires talking in order to live will feel more spiritually connected to the world at large if they actively remove from their work environments the communicative traits of the unevolved Gemini such as gossip, speech lacking in formality, diction, and/or manners, vulgarity, and misunderstood mumbling due to jabber jawed fast talk. Those Geminis who take the twinly time over the next decade and a half to actually breathe (an ironically foreign word to those born of the element of Air) and work on speaking in as unhyperly clear and professionally polite a manner at their jobs as they can, might be Big Love stunned to eventually discover moments of silence loudly rife with spiritual connectedness and buzzing with Universal well-being.
The Gemini in love diligently works for their partner’s friendship and respect. The Gemini in Big Love sets a respected standard of speech at their place of work and for their community at large.
June 21st – July 21st
“Have Faith your newly sprouting intuitive chest hairs aren’t merely just for cosmically cosmetic reasons only, Cancer.”
Let’s start with a curved beach ball. Did you know a new species of crab was just discovered, Cancer? They live 2 miles beneath the southern most waters near The South Pole, are a ghostly pure white due to no exposure to the Sun, and that isn’t even the best part! These newest creatures added to Man’s Animal Kingdom are nicknamed “Hoff Crabs”, in honor of one of your very own, that beach combing Crab known the world over for his all-over-body hair, fellow Cancerian, David “My chest is actually astro-turf” Hasselhoff. This unique species of Yeti crab, first observed by we humans in mid-January of 2012, resides in deep sea communities of 600 crabs per meter directly over hydrothermic vents on the Antarctic Ocean floor and has hairs all over their alabaster abdomens, deriving nutrients from the microbes which burrow on and amongst their manly man, excuse me! crabby crab chest follicles.
For those Cancerians who are attempting to sidle away from me in as quick a getaway backwards motion while smiling far, far, too hard - hold off on my personalized straightjacket fitting just quite yet, there is a method to my madness! True, The Valentine’s scope for your sign opens with a most non-Romantic mention of creepily pale deep sea creatures who have an abundance of chest hair and are being named after a C-List actor who mysteriously is the sole object of all of Germany’s affections, but this wasn’t all just said for the sheer purpose of revealing my reject status by your planetary ruler and displaying any kind of Brad-blatant lunacy. The discovery of the Hoff crabs in parts of the globe which were hitherto considered unhospitable to Life, synchronically falls right into cosmic place with The Planet of the Watery Depths, Neptune, about to deep sea dive into its own watery element and ruling sign of Pisces this February 4th for the next 14 years.
But I ebb ahead of my Sea self…
Like your sign’s element which is structure-less and shall not be contained, the gist of this watery horoscope shall now shift currents and flow towards the non-linear discussion of the astrological climate for The Sign of The Crab on Love’s Special Day. The Goddess of Romance and All Things Lovey Dovey, Venus, will be shining in Cancer’s House of Career and Work Place this upcoming Valentine’s Day.
For you single Crabs, guy or girl, your secret Romantic weapon of Mass Destruction is the fact you homebodies of the Zodiac are naturally great cooks. So if you have a budding crush on that recently added to the roster hottie of a co-worker a few cubicles down, whip up your most scrumptious Valentine baked good made completely with love (mixed with a few generous sprinklings of lust). With that kind of bait, you single Sea creatures will be reeling them in, in no time! For you committed Crabs, seeing that you all are such impressive chefs and that you probably cook at your home stead quite often for both your crabby selves as well as for your significant other, how about shaking things up this year? Be picked up from work by your ball and chain and let yourself be wined and dined out on the town this February 14th, Cancer!
The non-sensical tides of Bay Watch now wash us down the deep sea drain, back to the non-linear, hairy chested kingdom of The Lord of The Watery Depths…
The watery planet, otherwise known as Neptune, entering its ruling sign which is watery based on February 4th will strongly affect all of the water signs quite keenly over the next 14 years. The water signs inherently react to the outside world with their emotions. Not only should every water sign feel Neptune's influence in whichever House The Lord of The Watery Depths will be stationed in for their particular sign, but along with their emotions being heightened, so too should every watered one feel their inherent sense of intuition significantly grow during this super saturated upcoming decade and a half as well.
Up until this cosmic freeze frame of non-linear time, Cancer’s specialized forte in the open waters of intuition was a honed sensitivity to “the pulse of the public”.
But the Tides, they’re a changin’, my Crabs.
Through the discovery of an entirely new, never yet known species of your sign’s animal symbology right as The Planet of The Watery Depths is about to take its big sea dip may be The Universe’s big hint, informing all of us the Cancerian forte of intuition may be morphing into a water signed ability/gift/talent which is entirely new and untapped within each of you Moon children, yet still flows from a source more ancient than Time itself.
Cancer’s particular outlet to experience the connectedness of Big Love for the next 14 years is through their House of Faith. Allow this mysteriously morphing, wonderously new intuitive ability to wash over and unfold before each of you over the next decade and a half, my Crabs. Have faith that your newly sprouting intuitive chest hairs will be serving all of us in some big pictured Cosmic way other than just making you watery ones feel more marine life macho and maritime manly.
When a Cancer is in love, their work feels like Home. When a Cancer is in Big Love, their newly discovered intuitive ability both expands their world as well as brings them cosmicly closer to Home.
July 22nd – August 22nd
“In the past, a trip to Vegas meant being obligated to visit relatives and in-laws, especially those spotlight hogging, “you may need to be in a cage, but I don't” lion cousins & glitzy tiger in-laws who worked the S & R circuit, but now Sin City is all about making feline time for you and your gambling needs, Leo.”
“Score”. “Get Lucky”. ”Hitting it big”.
These words used to have an immediate connotation to a particular “Love act”, and when I say “Love” I really mean Sex in all of its filthy, but genuinely arousing power.
...that is, until this year, Leo.
Before I drain all the dirty, lust-filled fun out of The Lion's upcoming Day D'amour, some flame dousing, astrological background info needs to be thrown on that brightly lit, stoked by the burning coals of Passion, Valentined Camp Fire, first.
My Big Cats, yours is not the only sign nominated for a Zodiacal Award for Best Melodramatic Firey One in a particularly challenging and highly unmotivated life cycle (such as the current one we are in). All parties born beneath the element of Fire (meaning Aries and Sagittarius included), and not just Lord and Lady Crybaby of the Zodiac (Pssst, Leo that meant You) have had a rough go of things, and not just of late but further back into the recent past as well.
For you Lions, the trouble all began back in 2005, when the planet I am totally tight with whom I can call the Lord of Karma, but the rest of you can address only as Saturn, entered the Sign of the Feline and camped his bony old ass smack dab in the middle of every Lion's pride until the end of 2007! Since you fixed kitties are the members of the Family of Flame which take the longest to adjust to even the slightest fluctuations of change, The Leo was still rubbing the debris out of their big lashed eyes from the bombs of all encompassing change Saturn had dropped into the lap of every lion from the autumn of 2005 to the fall of 2007, only to stumble into some of the longest anti-fiery astrological climates in recent memory!
Nearly 80% of that calendar year which shall be nameless to Fire Signs (Hint: 2010) had the planets which are fiery in foundation, namely Mars and Jupiter, traversing through the Heavens in retrograde, or backwards motion. This in turn was proceeded by the last quarter of 2011 having its own extended Jupiter retrograde and if that wasn't enough to make all of you leap through the flame-extinguished hoops of unmotivated madness, Mars is currently in its own retrograde cycle which began on January 24th lasting all the way until the 14th....of April.
Why so very vexing, especially for you, my Royal Drama Kings and Queens?
The fire signs are action oriented. Those born under the element of fire are happiest when they are in the process of action, or “doing things”. When the fiery based planets are in backwards or retrograde motion, the fire sign's core energies sputter down to the barest of flickers, leaving them unmotivated, listless, and indecisive. These unfiery results could, in turn, become intensely frustrating, which could lead the fire sign to try to remedy the situation by forcing themselves to be busier than ever before.
Big Cosmic no no.
One more key factor remains to be thrown into this mix of unmotivated uninspiration, my Zodiacal monarchs. Mars is the planet of the body, hence one's overall energy levels experienced by the physical body are under The Red Planet's domain – including one that might get in the way just a smidge this Valentine's: it's the only eyebrow raising, dirty 3 letter word out there, SEX.
Forget energy levels, when a Leo feels as if they are not looking their utmost, big haired, sexy best – they are NOWHERE to be found! Leonine pride is probably the biggest key factor as to whether or not the bedroom doorknob is even remotely approximated in the sex lives of those born under this adoration addicted sign.
For you non-members of the Big Cat Family, if a Leo ain't feeling it, try as they might, their partner ain't getting it.
OK Then, Show's over folks! Exits are in the back, please watch your step from any rodents that may have adhered to the unmopped floors, Buh-bye now!
Do you actually think I would leave the entire pride of you with such unbright, fire unfriendly tidings, my un-Thunder Cats?
The Queen of Love and Romance, Venus, will be shining in The Leo's House of Luck this Valentine's Day. One of the core traits assigned to the House which Leo naturally rules over, the 5th, is not brought up too, too often, due to its addictive ability to generate false hopes as well as its distracting overtones from dealing with the real world at large, but call me Cowardly Lion, now is as good a time as ever to bring up this baby!
Gambling.
Leos are naturally good gamblers. Why this is never broadcasted or well known is because Leos hate to lose. Being naturally competitive, the Leo loves the process of gambling but can't bear the thought of losing the competition to an inanimate institution better known as, the casino.
But with all listless things previously considered, since Lady Love will be dressed in her best Lady Luck get up this Valentine's, you currently unlucky at overall Life Lions may be stunned at how such dramatic settings as the casino, the Cities of either the Sin or Atlantic varieties, as well as any of the exploding-with-wealth Indian reservations on the continental U.S. may be the perfect setting on Love's Big Day for The Leo to transfer all that pent up unmotivation and sexual un-hunger into cold, hard, cash!
Saving the best for last, there is a silver lining amidst those clouds which temporarily cover the sign whose planetary ruler is the very Sun itself. Of the 12, Leo is the sign who stands to benefit the most from their particular outlet of Big Love, given that Neptune will be gliding through The Lion's House of Transformation beginning on February 4th and for the 14 years following.
With everything said about the challenging difficulties The Leo has been through as of late, the key is to not let those hardships rule over the Royal Rulers of the Zodiac, my Lions! Does the Leo walk around with a chip on his shoulder the size of Sin City, or worse, take their inner pain out with a king sized axe to grind on anyone who should woefully cross their path of ever-constant loud complaint? Or does The Lion strive to retain their inherently sunny disposition and do their best to act with a generosity of heart befitting of their astrologically noble bearing? Those Leos who work on the latter may find those same obstacles and problematic issues which caused them so much heartache at the time of their occurrence are the very things which connect The Lion to their personal source of Big Love by transforming them through the gifts of empathy and sympathetic understanding.
When a Leo is in love, they feel as if they've found their lucky star. When a Leo is in Big Love, their star of self love transforms into a super nova of caring for all creatures.
August 23rd – September 22nd
“That word being, ummmm, salt, that's it! Salt, Virgo.”
Sex.
There, I said it, Virgo.
Since your sign is associated with all things virginal, along with taking into consideration the fact the Zodiacal sign of the Harvest Maiden has a sphere of influence which rules over those who dedicate their lives to be of service to others, such as Nuns and Monks, the thought of having a frank and open discussion involving the “S” word is just a tad daunting.
However, be rest assured my Vestal ones, Brad is here to break that barrier of Virgoan taboo. If anything, the Virgo needs to be sufficiently updated regarding the astrological climate for Love’s Special Day and more importantly, Night, since both intimately involve, well, you know….
(whispering) that “S” word
.
Being born beneath one of the 3 karmic signs, (Pisces and Scorpio being the other 2) the soul of every Virgo has an inherent understanding upon entrance into this world that their life cycle, this time around, will be one best spent in service to others. Being the earthy representative of the karmic clan, the Virgo best shows their karmic service to others through their work.
In many ways, I see the word “work” as truly a 4 letter word for the Virgo, since they identify their detail driven selves in their entirety by the work they do. Because of this self identification through their work, other words like “vacation”, “relaxation”, and “spa treatment” simply do not exist within the vocabulary of the hard working Virgo. Through work, the Virgo derives their purpose on this plane of existence, but dualisticly, if too much pressure and perspective is placed on that labor filled word, it could really (4 letter word) these earthy ones up from an evolutionary perspective, get my cosmic drift?
Which leads us to yet another word teeming with Virgoan taboo. Where the “S” word is hidden, and shrouded over in guilt, embarrassment, and a little fear, the “P” word is conversely in the consciousness of every Virgo throughout their hard working day, and is almost always in the forefront of their detail driven Mercurial minds – “Perfection”.
With the intrinsic awareness of karmic responsibility always deeply rooted in their soul, The Virgo will do the craziest of superhuman things, like strive for perfection or worse, criticize themselves to a bloody pulp should there be any given absence of the “P” word at any given time. Over time, the “P” word can become a major contributing factor behind The Virgo eventually putting each of their individualized core concerns and overall needs wayyyyyyyyy behind everyone else's, including any/all pleasantries and satisfactions of any kind, especially those which are of a SEXUAL nature.
Take all that and add with as little pomp and thoroughfare as possible an added feature to the 6th sign of the Zodiac, which is rulership over groups of people who live in abstinence and self denial in order to be of service to others, namely those cloistered folk mentioned at the very beginning of this piece, Nuns and Monks.
Which leads us to Love’s Special Day for all ye who follow karmic paths of detail driven hard work, who strive for perfection, and who put their needs, wants, and desires last behind everyone else’s. On this upcoming Valentine’s Day, the planet named after The Goddess of Love and Romance, Venus, will be shining brightly in The Virgo's House of SEX, SEXUALITY, SEXUAL ACTIVITY, SEXY UNMENTIONABLES, and let's see, did I forget to mention anything else on that sexual list?....SEXUAL PLEASURE.
For many a Virgoan, sex is just another form of obligated, catered servitude, where they must fully focus and tend to their partner's needs at that particular hot and bothered moment in time, and where the evening's activities almost always result in those born under the sign of the cosmic Bleach solitarily cleaning things up after the sex show is over.
That all makes soul leveled sense to me, how about you, Virgo? Nuns and Monks must internally suffer, grin and bear other people's blatant deficiencies to detail, and most importantly, must never think of strictly themselves first, or focus on any kind of superfluous triviality such as the pursuit of their own pleasure, especially that which is based in, gasp!
.....the “S” word.
Virgo's outlet of Big Love for the next 14 years is through The Virgin's House of Partnerships. The path to the Cosmic source of Universal love is truly Zen like for the List Makers of the Zodiac.
If the Virgo chooses to remain devoted to the Order of the Bleached Brothers and Sanitized Sisters of St. Martyr of the Doormat, their partnerships and key one on one relationships shall continue to remain staticly unevolved. This, in turn, shall keep the soul of the Virgo tethered to not just their ball and chained partner, but to their ball and chained existence on this plane as well, since The Virgen's obligatory lifestyle of servitude and self denial will prevent not even a vapored mistdrop to be felt of the cleansingly crashing waves of Cosmic Big Love.
The first step for the Virgo to head towards Big Love? You know…..a whole lot more of the “S” word, which symbolically implies a freedom for every Virgo to no longer keep their inner selves completely at the bottom of the barrel of need.
And in order for the “S” word to be tapped into, the “P” word needs to immediately be put out to the curb with the properly stacked and organized green, blue, and black trash bins, did you hear that, my Virgens!
It is here that the “S” and “P” words of Virgoan taboo extend far beyond just the actual words themselves and wash over into all areas within the life of every child of Mercury. The acceptance of one Virgoan taboo word and the eradication of another will greatly aid the Virgo to be in touch with their core needs, and shall executively assist every Virgen to permanently end any residual nagging pull towards self denial, as well as any standards of perfection, which Newsflash my Virgens! – IS HUMANLY IMPOSSIBLE!
If on this upcoming Valentine's Holiday, The Virgo's significant other should hear a summons for their presence in the boudiour, where upon their entrance, the Harvest Man or Maiden does not ask, but dominatingly DEMANDS that during Love's Special Night, they will be each other's servants of sexual intimacy and self pursuant pleasure, then prepare for every level of flood gate imaginable to burst naturally open, be they of either the physical or spiritual varities for the duration of that special evening and over the course of the next decade and a half, my “S” comfortable, “P” free Virgens!
When a Virgo is in love, they are filled with desire. When a Virgo is in Big Love, they desire to be of karmic assistance to their fellow Man.
LIBRA
September 23rd – October 22nd
“The O'Hara Sisters ponder the importance of ladies and their hands in a post-War, pre-Palmolived world, much like the current Libran might be re-weighing the importance of Valentine's Day trivialities in their currently close to post-Saturnine world, where all things surfacely pretty yet petty have permanently slid off the side of the Scales for good.”
Let's do a mental experiment, my Scale People. If I may ask each of you to close those delicate, long lashed eyes, and picture your pretty selves back in time, during the first week of February, 2008, to be exact. Does every Libra remember what they did that particular Valentine's Day? Do you recall what kind of expectations you had for Love's Special Day that year, both for your Libran selves and most likely, much more importantly, for whomever your partner was back then?
Now, let's move ahead through time and try to recall every subsequent Valentine's Day following 2008's. Let me guess, over the last 4 years, did the amount of attentive focus and overall importance each of you paid to The Day D'Amour lessen and lessen with each passing year, so that the beings you were right before Valentine's Day of 2008 is practically a completely different person than the older and Saturnine wiser children of Venus each of you are today?
You all may re-open your pretty peepers once more, my airy ones. Upon first tuning in to your mind's eye, I'm sure it dawned on many of you Scale People that my little exercise was greatly lacking in any kind of air signed delight and most definitely was turning out to very much NOT be the latest parlor game in fashion.
Although sobering to be sure, my intent was not to depress or upset any of your delicate Libran constitutions. For those of you who have read anything of mine over the same 4 year time period I used as the mental parameters for our little exercise, I'm sure you all have guessed the purpose behind my not so delightful mental game – to look at the overall changes and evolutionary growth (or lack of it) each Libran has experienced since Saturn officially entered the sign of its exaltation, (aka your sign) from October of 2009 to the present pre-Valentine period of 2012.
Being ruled by the planet named after the Goddess of Love and Romance herself, Venus, Valentine's Day is generally viewed with the same level of allegiance and intense devotion by the typical Libran as May Day is for the typical Communist Party devotee.
That is, until Saturn came to town...
My delicately sensitive ones, I am not inferring that because Saturn has in its own individualized way marked each of you with its specialized karmic scars denoting “Life's Lessons Learned the Hard Way”, that going forward every Libra will now have averse Pavlovian Valentine reactions, such as running away in a frantic cold sweat from any displayed combination of the colors pink or red with white lace, or dropping into fetal position and silently screaming should the words “Valentine” or “Cupid” be heard or the date “February 14th” be seen at any given point in your post-Saturnine future.
For the children of Venus, Valentine's Day shall always hold a place of special importance due to the Libra's core sense of Romantic idealism and their natural affinity for all things Love-ly, regardless the astrological climate of any given time.
Consider your current, more tempered selves wiser and in a state of much better balance as The Lord of Karma finishes its final portion of its long 3 year trek through your sign, so that at this point in evolutionary time, the superfluous Valentine details you Scale Kids may have focused a tad too intensely on in the past, may not seem like such a big deal anymore, considering Saturn teaches (or did I mean to say punches?) us to let go of any and all things surfacely petty. Allow me to bring that point across with yet another mental exercise!
(Tumbleweeds.) (Moaning desert wind.) (Crickets and locusts heard in the distant distance.)
Many people don't realize that one of the most beloved films of all time, “Gone With The Wind” is in every way astrological. The author of the same named book, Margaret Mitchell, was also a professional astrologer and she geniusly interweaved Astrology into every aspect of the book's content. Each character in GWTW is an archetypal representative of any of the 12 given signs of the Zodiac and astrological symbolism is associated with every location within the book's plot.
For example: Both the film and the book begin at a grand barbecue at the Wilkes family plantation, named “12 Oaks” (12 signs of the Zodiac). The first scene which unfolds has the story's heroine, Scarlett O'Hara being courted by every young buck in the county.
Although sometimes bordering on the cartoonish, Scarlett is the archetype of the first sign of the Zodiac, Aries, and every spontaneously spitfire action she does is unabashedly Arien!
Scarlett = Aries. Aries is ruled by Mars. Mars = The Red Planet. Red = Scarlett. Astrologically stunning, no?
(The crickets and locusts are now augmented with bullfrog croaks far off in the distant, distance.)
Allow me to bring my Libran point home provided all of you find the resolve to contain your overtly over-excited reactions.
Many Thanks.
The image I chose for Libra's Valentine's scope shows Scarlett's 2 younger sisters, Sue Ellen and Coreen O'Hara, on the land of their family's plantation, Tara, in the months following the end of The Civil War. Since the O'Hara family was on the side that lost, their formerly grand, ante-bellum plantation has been reduced to near rubble and left with next to nothing from the constant pillaging of the property by Northern soldiers and manipulating Carpet Baggers. The O'Haras and anyone else left at Tara must make due with next to no food and the barest of remaining resources left behind in this war torn post-apocalyptic world, leaving the 2 youngest children of Gerald O'Hara no other choice than to assist with the back breaking labor of picking cotton. As the noon sun scorchingly boils above, Sue Ellen abruptly stops toiling and bemoans her fate by recalling a time before the War when propriety and social graces reigned supreme:
Sue Ellen: "Look at my hands!! Mother said you could always tell a lady by her hands!" The girl proceeds to cry inconsolably.
Although the youngest of the O'Hara clan, Coreen thoughtfully responds to her sibling’s hysterics with sage-like words that are as wise as they are comforting when she soothingly says to her sister, "I guess things like hands and ladies don't matter so much any more."
Here's your part of the parlor game, Libra. Keeping in mind that every character in GWTW is a representative of any of the 12 signs, can you decide (wrong Libran verb), can you attempt to make your best choice as to which sign each sister is presumed to be modeled after?
(A chorus of loons now joins the crickets, locusts, and bullfrogs far off in the distant, distance.)
I'll give you a hint, the delicate priss who falls apart after only a few minutes of getting her hands dirty is meant to be a very exaggerated, unevolved version of.....well, ummmmmm, you, Libra.
Synchronically, the sentiment behind the character of the young but made wise by the School of Hard Knocks, Coreen fits quite perfectly with both the immediate and distant future of every Libra in the Here and Now, given the youngest O'Hara represents the sign which Neptune rules over and shall also be sailing through over the course of the next decade and a half, Pisces.
Your planetary ruler, the Lady who is always pretty in Valentine pink, Venus herself, will be shining in the House which both she and The Libra naturally rule over, The House of Relationships come this February 14th. Although placed in a House which focuses on union, Venus will be a solo act at her Love Soiree this year, since she will be placed in the sign of the self, Aries.
I ask each of you do something almost unheard of this Valentine's Day, my children of Venus. Whether in a relationship or single, focus on just your pretty selves on Love's Special Day this year. Look at past Valentine Days of yore and realize how far you've come! Hug yourselves in the congratulating self awareness that the knocks and punches rained down by the Universe over the last few years are proving more and more to the sign known for being delicate, that you're tough as steel deep down inside.
All that cosmic hard work will make tapping into the force of Big Love a snap (and not the back breaking kind) for The Libra, as Neptune will be swimming through The Scales' House of Daily Work and Chores for the next decade and a half. Being Saturn's punching bag over the last few years has pre-conditioned the Libra into the tough sons of Romantic b*tches they are today, so much so that during the next 14 years, the mere act of doing their daily tasks and chores (provided no attention be given to any uneven cuticles or dry spots) will be this internally tough sign's ticket to gradually transcending this daily existence to somewhere far more profound.
The Libra in love believes their lover has it all. The Libran in Big Love strives to give as much caring detail to all as they do to their romantic partner.
SCORPIO
October 23rd – November 22nd
“Use the reactions of your kids as a gauge to how well you are creatively expressing your selves, Scorpio. For you child-free Desert Deadlies, the best key to tapping into your inner whirlpools of creativity is to behave with the joyful abandon of child....or else.”
The thing I simply adore about you Deadly ones is your intense need for a bull**** free environment. With that said, hearing the words “Valentine's Day” probably bears as much sentimental meaning as do the words “Garden Mulch” to the average Scorpio. Your naturally intense astrological natures don't need to have a day out of the calendar year designated to checking in with your state of feeling, that’s a way of Life for the Scorpion! Now that we got that lace and baby's breath out of the freaking way, let's do a quick run through of the Valentine fluff before diving into the importance of Neptune's positioning in the Scorpion's big pictured path.
The planet of all things Lovey Dovey, Venus, will be shining in Scorpio's House of Chores and Daily Activities come this February 14th. Since this holiday is one of the few times I've ever see your sign react with an all out cackle of a laugh, it wouldn't crush you intense ones with heart broken disappointment to be informed that the best environment for the Scorpio on this upcoming Day D'amour will be around the house versus going out on the town and painting it a bloody, I mean, Heart shaped red. With the Scorpio's best energies for generating Love being in the area of chores and daily activities this Valentine's, now is a better time than any to purchase a new maid/pizza boy/waitress/construction worker outfit for either your Scorpionic selves or your slave, I mean partner, romantic partner!
Whatever motivates that deadly tail to sting the most......
On to more pressing cosmic matters.
Scorpio's Neptunian news comes in 2 parts - Generalized Water Wash & Scorpionic Stream of Specificity. Knowing how intense you Assassins of the Zodiac can be, I'll run past the General stuff as quickly as I can, if not, ummm, faster as long as there is a 10 foot wide space of comfort zone between myself and all of (swallowing hard)..... you.
Just to remind you Tail Zingers, Scorpio is a water sign. The most watery of planets will be entering its own drippy element beginning February 4th and will be bobbing in the astrological H2O for the next 14 years. I always find it quite funny (Not the Ha Ha kind, more like the scream laughing while a deadly stinger is being thrust into the guts of your victim, version) when most non-Scorps assume your sign's element is fiery, because they are of the confirmed belief Scorpio is the most unemotional of signs. I am quick to fully inform these ill-informed ones of their incorrect assumption. Of the 3 water signs, Cancer and Pisces being the others, I surmise Scorpio to be THE most emotional of the soaked bunch, since they feel things with an intensity that reaches their soul's core. The only thing that rivals the Scorpion's intensity of emotion is their willpower to maintain an aura of mystery about themselves as often as possible, so that many a Scorpion would rather chew their hand off and escape into the mist rather than be caught in the trap of any kind of overt or obvious displays of emotion in public or in front of strangers.
Resuming the watery generalizations, with The Lord of the Ocean Depths entering both his ruling sign and element come February 4th, all water signs should be experiencing heightened states of both intuition and emotion over the course of the next 14 years. Each water sign's particular House which Neptune will be stationed in over the next fortnight of years will indicate the area(s) of Life these heightened non-rational states will be focused on or specified. For Scorpio, the Neptunian concentration of right hemisphered activity will occur in their House of Creative Self Expression, Children, and (wincing) Fun.
Here is where you get a poisoned appendage slapping, Scorpio! It seems to me, (and far more so, to the receivers of the following), that the creative forces at work within the Scorpio are restricted, for the most part, to acts of retaliation or vengeance. Don't get me wrong, your sign always keeps me on my toes as far as incorporating new and improved ways to keep a recipient conscious longer during extended periods of punishment infliction, as well as approaching the act of stalking with a more individualized sense of flair, but MUST the creativity of the Scorpio be limited simply to guaranteeing that a cheating or jilted lover will live the remainder of their lives in paranoid fear of your omni-present presence? It will be up to each Scorpion over the next decade and a half to channel the growing ball of raw emotion which will steadily rise from February onwards into evolved or unevolved outlets, be they creative or otherwise.
How will you intense ones decipher if you have chosen the correct outlet? Your Kids, for those who have procreated mini-Desert Deadlies. It will be obvious to the kiddies if their Scorpio Mommy or Daddy is giving their creative all in any of their endeavors, since not only will everything they do have a hint of Scorpionic creative flair, but also a lightness of spirit that frankly, many close to the Scorpio will not be used to. If the Scorpio takes the unevolved path, not only your kids but any/all of their friends will be steering clear of the home front due to a dark, intense, atmosphere made even more unhospitable by increased vows of vengeance and deeper/longer held grudges, causing the more sensitive neighbor, political poller, or Girl Scout to barely make it past the front door without hightailing it in a cold sweated reverse.
For you spawn-less Scorps, the unevolved repercussions still apply. How you child-free Scorps will know if you're tapping into Neptune's evolved forces will be reflected by your shoe heel. The more evolved you get, the lighter the step. With no children lurking about in the lair, the best way for you single Scorps to tap into your particular outlet of Big Love (aka creative self expression), is to approach the world more and more with child like wonder over the next 14 years, my children of Pluto. Considering that's a bit difficult even for me to imagine of you dark ones, how about commencing such a mammoth undertaking by attempting to crack a smile now and then. I'll help you start. Ready?
“O MY GOD SCORPIO! VALENTINE'S DAY IS CANCELLED THIS YEAR DUE TO CUPID BEING BEATEN TO DEATH WITH HIS OWN CROSSBOW IN FRONT OF THE HALLMARK FACTORY BY SOME DISGRUNTELED SEASONAL CARD EMPLOYEE HIGH ON WHITMAN'S SAMPLERS!”
The Scorpio in love whistles while they work. The Scorpio in Big Love treats the world with the same concern as they do their children.
SAGITTARIUS
November 23rd – December 21st
“Does your home meet the Big Love standard of Cosmic approval, Sag?”
You can come out now, Sag! Shhhhhhh! I know, my Pony Boys and Girls, I know! You don't even have to speak, just show Brad with the dollies what that big, 'ole mean Universe has done to you as of late.
Since you are the fiery representative of the dualistic mutable signs, my Valentine's tidings for the Centaur speak of relieving burden through ease as well as intrinsic challenges to one's core sense of Horsey self.
But first some Sagittarian sympathy. You lucky ones have not had it so super doops over the last year and a half, and that not only applies to you Centaurs, but to all members of The Family of Flame as well, namely Aries and Leo.
Nearly 80% of that calendar year which shall be nameless to Fire Signs (Hint: 2010) had the planets which are fiery in foundation, namely Mars and your planetary ruler, Jupiter, traversing through the Heavens in retrograde, or backwards motion. This in turn was proceeded by the last quarter of 2011 having its own extended retrograde period your ruler, The King of Planets and if that wasn't enough to make all of you leap through the flame-extinguished hoops of unmotivated madness, Mars is currently in its own retrograde cycle which began on January 24th lasting all the way until the 14th....of April.
The fire signs are action oriented. Those born under the element of fire are happiest when they are in the process of action, or “doing things”. When the fiery based planets are in backwards or retrograde motion, the fire sign's core energies sputter down to the barest of flickers, leaving them unmotivated, listless, and indecisive. These unfiery results could, in turn, become intensely frustrating, which could lead the fire sign to try to remedy the situation by forcing themselves to be busier than ever before.
Big Cosmic no no as I'm sure many of you Centaurs have personally experienced the repercussions of fighting the force of retrograde by busying yourselves right into a hospital or an extended period of illness due to your bodies, especially the Sagittarian immune system, being worn down to next to nothing.
Even though the planet of high powered action and bed creaking, Mars, will be retrograde this Valentine's Day, the Empress of Romance will be shining brightly in The Sagittarius' House of Romance on Love's Big Day! It may not be such a horrible thing, my Centaurs, if instead of having a night painting the town heart shaped red with your entire posse, a romantic evening of 1 on 1 be spent this Valentine's with just you and your significant other. An evening where there is no pressure to “do” anything, and where each of you will simply enjoy each other's company and re-charge your batteries of romantic appreciation for one another.
For the single Sag, The House of Romance is also the House of Creative Self-Expression. Lady Love may have a surprise in store for you Looking for Love Horseys this Valentine’s Day if you shake things up by presenting yourselves in a most creative light. An evening activity on Love's Special Night that is both fun and actively creative which slews of single Centaurs should stampede to pursue is Karaoke, provided there be Romantic parameters, my overdoers of the Zodiac!
Performing your favorite standard of a 37 minute extended version of “Paradise By The Dash Board Light” is not romantically permissible, Sag. Screaming away for that chunk of time is neither creative nor romantic nor appreciated by the remainder of those present who have to suffer through listening to you party monsters slurringly perform it.
I know you children of Bounty usually need a good stiff drink before picking up that microphone, just make sure they're not picking up your horsey selves before you even make it to the stage, due to your highly excitable, nervous jitters transforming one drink into 10 or 20. Keep in mind this golden rule of Romance this Valentine's Day my single show Ponies: Public displays of either puking or passing out are never attractive nor romantically appealing.
Onto more important Horsey matters....
Your sign has the biggest challenge to face as Neptune is about to deep sea dive in its ruling sign and element for the next upcoming 14 years, since the watery planet will be bobbing along in as domestic an area of your Horsey Lives as possible, the Sag's House of Home. My next statement will certainly be taken the wrong way by a few, but overall, the living pad of many a Sagittarian tends to be untidy and chaotic. There may be a house involved, but the Sag pad, for the most part, usually lacks any semblance of homey-ness. Mostly this is due to the Sagittarian focusing too much on the big picture, so that they may never spend any time at home because their energies have them incessantly busy in a whirl of multiple activities, or their sense of freedom and curse of instant boredom might have them changing living locales almost as often as they change horse shoes, or their aura of luck may have them so irresponsible as to not bother or not know how to fix anything broken at home nor maintain a proactive sense of upkeep with the structure of their horsey houses.
Now, that so far has been surface House talk! A not so well known aspect to the House of Home's domain is that it also is considered the House of The Soul. A Sagittarian Soul issue that I have beaten to a dead horse (!) quite often is my concern over the children of Jupiterian abundance not sharing or spreading their wealth, instead becoming more and more presumptuous over getting what they want, whenever they want it.
Over the next 14 years, think of Neptune as your Soul's personal building contractor, Sag. The planet of unconditional love and spiritual connectedness will begin inspection of your horse stables from the inside out beginning this February 4th. Neptune's influence will start from the core of each Sagittarian's soul, determining how much is part of a sound and secure structure of evolutionary spirituality of global proportions and how much should be condemned due to the soul's irreparable damage brought about by actions of pure self promotion and pursuits of sheer hedonism.
Based on what percentage of the Sagittarian soul meets the minimal requirements of the Universal housing code, will determine whether the watery planet runs evolved or unevolved water through the pipes of each your Soul's Housing structures, which in turn, shall spill over into each Centaur's place of residence. For you unevolved Sags, you thought your place was a little cramped before? Neptune's unevolved waters might just hose down your abodes with the most disorganized and distracting piles o' junk; be it in the form of worthless mail, burnt out lighbulbs, discarded toilet paper rolls, mini mountains of anciently outdated and consistently unread newspapers and magazines, junk drawers bursting at the seams with endless pieces of nothing and bric a brac, as well as every malodorous food item or dairy product you thought you would deal with some other time. making their presences unavoidably known all at once!
And that's just what the unevolved Neptune giveth! Even your big pictured visionary selves can't imagine the great lengths the unevolved watery planet shall taketh away from your horsey homes in the form of any/all kinds of disrepair, breakdown, or removal, be it via theft, natural disaster, or altered zoning laws that for some reason, you were not informed about, but would be immediately affected by none the luck-less. Put the giveth and taketh parts together, my unevolved Centaurians, and the domesticated nightmare has only just begun to snowball! For as my uber-organized, meticulously cleaning mother wisely warns: "Son, Chaos begets Chaos."
Galloping fast and furiously into the other direction of Neptunian Evolution, we come upon the House That Unconditional Love Built. The Neptunian voyage for the evolved Centaur will be a less than minimal emphasis on the ephemeral. In other words, the watery planet's focus will turn away from the actual nails and boards of the floors and walls that comprise that tangible entity known as one's House, which, karmicly, could be there one minute and out to high tide the next, with a decent sized tsunami wave hand delivered by the Lord of the Ocean Depths, anyway. The more the evolved Sagittarian reinforces the foundation of that which houses their individual Soul with a sealant of Goodwill Towards Men, the more their Homes, over the next decade and a half, will transform into sheltering beacons of optimistic cheer for All who enter.
The Sagittarius in love is romantic as they are lucky. The Sagittarian in Big Love offers the world shelter with their innate optimism and hope for the future.
CAPRICORN
December 22nd – January 19th
“The Pre-Big Love Capricorn sound of business formal-ese is soon to be out of style in the most cosmicly square of ways, Capricorn. Big Love talk has heart in every word and is soon to be all the rage.”
“Bank Teller.” “Librarian”. “Laboratory Technician”.
These are all words used to describe the typical Capricorn’s manner of speech when communicating to others. Despite the Cappie readily using various endangered aspects of societal speech such as manners, handshakes, and stating surnames, their fluency in business formal-ese needs to be completely overhauled both for the approaching Holiday D’Amour and in the overall Big Love picture going forward.
Where is a person’s style of speech their most natural? At home. The spot just mentioned may sound like any other locale to the sign I call “the work horse of the Zodiac”, due to their relentless work ethic defining “Home” as that place to pass out at during those choice, few moments when the Capricorn is not working. But it is precisely here where the planet named after the goddess of Love and Romance will be shining for the last of the Earth signs, since Venus will be positioned in The Capricorn’s House of Home this Valentine’s Day.
Whether the Capricorn is ball and chained or single on Love’s Special Day, show either just yourself or you and your partner some tender loving by making this Valentine’s as romantically special in a homey kind of way this year. If home is already a foreign word in the vocabulary of many a Cappie, then the kitchen must appear even more alien like. Whether the Goat Guy or Girl is a gourmand or not, make your hard working selves feel right at home in your own homesteads by having your menu on Valentine’s Night be the meal you consider closest to Capricorn comfort food either by self preparation or ordering it out.
My Cappies, whenever I encounter a person first dating one of your sign, I always inform them they can’t go wrong buying the Capricorn this particular gift, whether it be for your birthday, Valentine’s Day, Labor Day, the Cappie will ALWAYS love it – SKIN CARE PRODUCTS! With that said, after dinner my Goat Kids, I suggest you partake in a sumptuous bath made for either just yourselves or for 2, and then proceed to apply your most favorite and most frightfully expensive skin care product that you just splurged on your status seeking selves. The key to tapping into any outlet of Big Love is by loving of the self first.
We’ll leave you and your skin care product application be for the moment to get much better acquainted…
Beginning February 4th, Neptune will be entering its home waters in The Capricorn’s House of Communications for the next 14 years. Joined in tandem by the planet of Death and Transformation, Pluto, currently passing through your sign, Neptune will be starting a new age of a Global Economy, beginning with how the Capricorn and those in the business world overall, write and speak.
For starters, what spiritual connectedness or Universal Love do YOU hear in the term "business formal", my Goat Guys and Gals? No worries, I'll respond for you:
Less than Zero.
My Goat People, I know that a goodly portion of your heart-detached speech is rooted in a life that is based in challenging obstacles you Cappies all have had to single-hoovedly overcome, but we must toast those snow covered hearts and stomped-on emotions of every child of Saturn over the warming glow of brotherly and sisterly Universal Love (The House of Communications is also the House of Siblings)! Neptune will be monitoring the gab O' goat from here on in. Capricorn communication will be the particular outlet to the force of Big Love for those born under the last of the Earth signs over the next decade and a half, as well as their Achilles Heel of entrapment, should their style of speech retain its business formal frostiness.
Those Capricorns who refuse to change by staying as conversationally conservative as ever, The Watery Lord will gradually show you Goats your unevolved ways. Over time, the unevolved Cappie shall see their words, emails, and conversations turn against them, resulting in others mis-interpreting, in the most un-realistic of Neptunian ways, any and everything said by the resistant Goat as snobbish and exclusively haughty. So much so, the deluded misrecipients of your correspondences shall feel the need to be as self defensive as can be - and in front of as many people as possible, even if all they received from you was a Return Receipt!
For those Capricorns who bear the spiritualized mantle of communicative responsibility going forward, The Lord of The Watery Depths will gradually begin to show the updated Children of Saturn how their words have taken the winning path of evolutionary change by 2 distinct manners, both of which are non-verbal but say far too much:
Tokens of human affection and prospects of opportunity for globally oriented business.
The warmth of your speaking ways shall elicit truly human responses such as heart-felt handshakes, smiles, and yes, even hugs from those who are on the receiving end of them, as well as the keys of the newly formed and ever expanding, global economic Kingdom shall be placed in your care, my evolved Cappies. Big Love words rooted in kindness and consideration that are of a humanitarian vein will be the necessary passwords needed in order to access the new paradigm of successful business and financial security in the even further chaoticly changing economic times that are to come.
The Capricorn in love makes their House a Home. The Capricorn in Big Love makes everyone feel at Home with their warm words.
Aquarius
January 20th – February 18th
“The Star from the Tarot represents the archetypal energies of Aquarius and infers palpable potential in the Future. With Neptune finally leaving the sign of The Water Bearer, will The Aquarian be able to put their far reaching, futuristic vision back into clear focus after being clouded over for so long?”
WELCOME AQUARIUS!!!
Military and College marching bands blare into "Three Cheers For The Red, White & Blue!" as well as simultaneously siren an extremely fast tempo’d and slightly out of pitch “This Is The Dawning Of The Age Of Aquarius” all at the same time. I approach with a beaming grin, look you squarely in the eye while loudly mouthing the words which are audibly drowned amidst the din and fanfare, "Kudos, Water Bearer, You made it!" Simultaneously, I shake your right hand with mine while also grabbing hold of your right elbow with my left hand for extra congratulatory emphasis. After your arm is unfettered by my o so manly grip, luao boys in neon colored (your colors) Hawaiian shirts and surfer shorts pat you on the back, placing a tropical alcoholic beverage in one hand, and a lit Cuban cigar in the other, followed by luao girls approaching you from every angle, gigglingly placing leis made of orchids and golden rain (your flowers) over your extra-large-cranium-fitting-Aquarian heads….
CUT THE NOISE PEOPLE!
I'm sorry, but did I just hear you say "What's all this for?"??
O my Lord of Rebellion! My bad! You'd think I'd have an ounce of karmic consideration in me! Of course you Aqua Folk have not a clue, even beyond your everyday clueless standard of living! The Global Aquarian Luau with Full Military Honors is for still being alive, you air-signed heads!!! I kid you not! Seriously, I don't know how all of you managed to do it, with Neptune in your sign since 19FREAKING99 and finally leaving its long held positioning in The Water Bearer once and for all on the 4th of February, 2012!! I probably would have (pantomime pistol shooting myself) well before Windows XP was released, know what I mean?
But actually...your furrowed Aqua-brow reactions of confused, non-comprehension would indicate that now is also a perfect time to discuss which Aquarian area of Life The Lord Of the Watery Death Star will be turbining into now that it has jettisoned out of the last of the air signs, but also where immediate Aquarian Love can be had on this upcoming Valentine’s Day!
Even though yours is the sign of intellectual genius and trail blazing invention, I still find it horribly amusing when the Aquarian comes running into the room asking desperately if I have seen their keys which are clearly positioned in their hand, or their glasses, which are obviously sitting atop their large brain’d heads. The same sentiment applies this Valentine’s Day, my hazed over Water Bearers, since the planet named after the Dominatrix of Love herself, Venus, will be shining in The Aquarian House of One’s Local Neighborhood on Love’s Special Day.
Be honest my Mensas of the Zodiac, do you know the names of the streets which are due north and south of the one on which you currently reside? Also, in the past, if there was construction being done on your usual route going home, did you end up getting lost in your own neighborhood? Being astrologically equipped with a far reaching vision such as yours, the average Aquarian tends to not see what’s closest or in the nearest vicinity around them all too clearly, even more so while Neptune was lurking about in your sign!
Allow Venus to begin wiping the lenses of each of your clouded over futuristic visions by finding some local love come this Valentine’s Day, my cyber signs! We’ll start by going to a place the Aquarian feels most at home:
The Internet.
While in front of your computer, decide upon the most exotic, out there kind of meal you would most enjoy partaking in on Love’s Special Night. From there, go to your favorite search engine and research how many of those kinds of restaurants/enclaves/jooka bars lie within a 15 mile maximum vicinity of your current residence (50 Miles for those Aquarians bucking the system and living in true Anarchy No Man’s Land). Plan on spending Valentine’s Night at the establishment which does not even sound remotely familiar to you and is the closest to your house, Aquarius. I highly recommend even if you’re not hitched, to bring a partner or trusted friend, my Water Bearers, on the off Uranian chance, you should lose your way heading home at the end of the night.
My words of directioned warning aren’t unfounded what with the planet of confusion and un-reality taking a nice, long, cold, confusing bath in the Bidet of the Water Bearer for well over the past decade! The unfortunate result is exactly where we are currently - the last of the air signs getting FAR too used to everything being confusing, deceptive and just plain old WRONG and barely noticing that your favorite astrologer of equally vast intellect has pulled out all the astrological stops, complete with fighter jets flying in synch with "Rock You Like A Hurricane" directly over your big heads, WHICH YOU FORGOT TO LIFT WHILE THEY WERE DOING SO, ALL FOR YOUR UNAPPRECIATIVE BENEFIT!!!
The dualisticly simple yet perceptively complex outlet for each Aquarian to potentially bear The Waters of Big Love over the next decade and a half lies within their House of Money and Material Possessions. The unevolved Aquarian shall continue to expect life to be confusing, hazy and unclear, and over the next 14 years, this will gradually be the reality of things in their ever more delusional fantasy finances and mirage-like material possessions.
The evolved Aquarian who now can decipher the difference between the murky waters of the last decade and the clear mental perception of today and going forward, over the next decade and a half shall see their bank accounts start to snowball, due to a natural Midas Touch of Aquarian futuristicly financed genius mingled with Neptunian intuition, creativity, and most importantly, clarity!
With that said, THOSE OF YOU IN RENTAL UNIFORMS, REMOVE THEM NOW, ALL OF YOU OFF MY PROPERTY AND YOU WILL ONLY BE GETTING PAID FOR 15 MINUTES VERSUS THE FULL HOUR!
Money doesn't grow on trees, right Aquarius? Actually... you geeks of the Zodiac may be changing even that concept soon enough.
The Aquarian in love views the everyday like a golden discovery. The Aquarian in Big Love becomes richer in every way imaginable.
PISCES
February 19th – March 19th
“The Power Of Neptune Compels You, Pisces!”
Come on, Pisces! Get yourselves dressed and ready to hit the town, you're the guests of honor at not one but 2 Cosmic cocktail parties! The first is much smaller in scale but directly related to the vastly larger and much more Universal second. Are your sea-foam green frocks, jackets, and ties all in place? Neptune-tacular!
As all of you Fish Kids should well know, your planetary ruler is dropping anchor in its home waters, aka your sign, come this February 4th and shall be holding underwater court in Pisces' Octopus' Garden for the next 14 years following. Let's drop in at the first and more intimate of the gatherings, this one is all about Love's Special Day and its optimal romantic backdrop for the last of all signs.
Being Neptune's children, your sign isn't necessarily known for its pragmatism, especially in the money department, despite it's green coloring. The Piscean can hold up the “10 items or less line” at the supermarket with their 22 items trying to find that scrunched up expired coupon which could have saved them a whopping 75 cents, and on their way out will drop a homeless person their remaining 5 bucks. No worries, my benefactors of the underdog, this Valentine's Day, the planet named after the Empress of Love, Venus, will be shining in The Pisces' House of Money. Whether splurging on just your emotionally sensitive selves, your date, or any/all residents of your local Skid Row this Valentine's, The Universe should help you wet ones along by providing enough of the green stuff (and I don't mean sea weed) on Love's Special Night.
Well, we've finally arrived at the Big Love Party! Stand straight and smile, Neptune is throwing quite the fete for his very own!
Opening door. Wafting wave of sound comprised of laughter, light applause, involved conversation, champagne corks being unhinged, subsequently followed by the surprised squeals from the projectile liquid's newly created stains on cocktail party skirts and suits, with an overriding background shout of, "OK, Who ordered Pizza?"
Come on in, Pisces, Join the party! Grab some beluga caviar and non-dry champagne, my Watery ones, take in this spacious sea scene, glorious no? Close your eyes and try these water cress sandwiches before they're snatched up and also before....
(I BLARE over all the delicious small talk a HUGE FOG HORN, that is so piercing, the reverberating vibrations alone make champagne glasses shatter, and hor' deurve trays airborne.)
(I mouth the following words, since no one can hear due to experiencing temporary partial deafness)
- BEFORE NEPTUNE ONCE AGAIN WASHES UPON OUR WORLD'S STAGE!
Were your senses bombarded and shocked all at once? That was my hoped for effect, Fish Kids. Hey, be glad you're getting a little karmic test run of a fire drill exercise because if you thought that was intrusively overwhelming, consider it a giggly game of Marco Polo with no blindfolds compared to the tsunami that IS Neptune crashing the party to come home to roost in your sign and House of Self!
Since this was your party and Brad will make you cry if he wants to, while we are waiting for the ever approaching power wave that is Neptune, as well as for the shock to fully wear off as the fog horn buzz dissipates, I shall now give each of you a seed. Since we're already underwater and you're still in a slackjawed state, all you have to do is guide the tiny thing to the vicinity of your word hole and swallow. Good. I want every Piscean to put within that seed, that which makes you happiest (For you astrology buffs, it's The Part of Fortune - in seed form!). I don't care if it's the cheerleading squad from high school that you loved being a part of (or wished you could mount), I don't care if it's the biggest basket in the whole wide world just gosh darn chock full of kitties, puppies, sunshine, and soap operas, since you are the last of the 12 and the most naturally intuitive, whatever you imagine to be housed within the shell of that seed, thus it shall be.
And now that said seed is permanently inside each of your gullets, one or 2 words before I leave you high and dry to face all that wet stuff:
Be content. Be joyful. Be at Peace my Watery Ones!
Every Piscean MUST work at positioning themselves within the positive spectrum of thoughts and feelings from here on in over the next 14 years! I shan't pull your fins, there will be many, many times during Neptune's momentous visit where it will simply feel like too much to squeeze out a positive thought or word, all you'll want to do is escape. But no worries, you're covered now, my Watery ones, that's where the seed comes in. When you're just about to pull the escape hatch, remember you swallowed the seed, and immediately your soul will be soothed with the endorphins of that which makes you Fish Folk happiest.
As this watery influenced decade and a half unfolds, the mantle of karmic responsibility will be quite the heavy load to bear, o last of the 12, especially since the intentions of each Piscean action that is made shall also collectively represent every other evolved inhabitant of the Zodiac as well, BUT if the Universe deems the children of Neptune's work to be satisfactory, either at the height or end of Neptune's most highly influential visit to our world, then that heavily karmic yolk shall be lifted, allowing you to glide ahead like Mermaids, to bask and welcome the rest of us to the unchartered waters of Big Love which flow into the Sea of Universal Connectedness to all living Creatures.
The Pisces in love sees the future. The Piscean in Big Love sees themselves as their future.
* All images are copyrighted by their respective copyright owners.
"The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." Marcel Proust
